Needles, Ultrasound,and Lab work

Sorry I have not updated this lately.
I had my first ultrasound appointment it was a baseline ultrasound they look to see if everything is sound so on the third day of my mensus they check by ultrasound which was yesterday. What they look for is any cysts on the ovaries. I went in to see the ultrasound tech in Provo yesterday since my doctor is not from Utah he flies in on April 25th so I have one appointment with a tech that they use before he comes into town.

I was prepared for this ultrasound it is either going to give me the green light to continue with simulation shots or the red light that we will have to wait. Jason and I drove out to Provo and our appointment was at 9:15 a.m we got out to the facility and I noticed other women in the waiting room since it was Saturday I knew that these must be other patients that are going to the same doctor for IVF.

I understand I should not compare myself to others but it was interesting to watch other women come in and get the samething done as I was doing. I know others are going through this as well but I felt really one on one with my doctor and nurses so far.

Reality started to set in no turning back not that I would want to but let's be truthful this is not a fun process to go through.

I sat in the waiting room of the OB's office waiting for my name to be called reading the notices on the desk such as: $50.00 to find out what gender you are having you can find out two weeks earlier.  I also noticed dum dum suckers all blue ones in a basket and pink ones in another basket.

To be honest in the beginning of our infertility trial this would make me want to cry because I felt lost and alone but today I had a different feeling a one of relief my heart sped alittle and I thought that in about 3-4 months I could be paying money to find out what I am having. I have to be careful when I think like this because I know that also in 3-4 months I could be doing the IVF process all over again but as of right now I enjoyed that feeling for the first time of knowing that it is okay to get excited for IVF.

The ultrasound tech calls my name "Brooke"  she went to go explain what this ultrasound entails and I repeated what she wanted to hear everything off from the waste down and she will be back in a couple of minutes. She stated to me this is not your first "Rodeo is it?" I stated not at all.

I was ready for the ultrasound she came in and the ultrasound began my ovaries looked great from what I could see I know I am not no doctor but when you look at your ovaries for what seems like the 17th hundred time through ultrasound you start understanding what they are looking for. She measured they measure the five biggest follicle's and than she sends the information off to the doctor and she also looks at how thick my uterus lining is.

I got the next instructions blood work needs to be done next. I got dressed and as Jason was looking around the room he saw print outs of a ultrasound with twins baby A and B and also triplets baby 1,2,and 3 I told him that would be awesome to have multiples. He always states lets work on one first.

We went over to the hospital for my blood to be drawn and it wasn't as bad as I thought one prick and one vial of blood not bad and I did not pass out. Way to go me!

Jason asked me a question as we where walking in to get my blood drawn and to be quite honest I know he is going through the pain with me just it is my body and so it seems like it is me that is doing all the preparation I know he is with me but I didn't think he ever thought about what I was thinking until this moment he said " How does it make you feel watching other girls walk in that is doing IVF" I was taken back by the question I answered I feel like I am in a race.

Naturally I am competitive but it is a different race it is with my own body. I told him I feel like what if it works for them and not me and he stated that all of our bodies are different all of our struggles are different. I told him I felt good about what we are doing because I felt like I was younger than all the ladies that I saw so I know I am giving myself a better chance.

Later on I have thought about that question and my answer I guess the race that I have felt is the race of time and the race of money and the cost of IVF and medication the race of life is what I felt. I have now realized that I am going to enjoy the moment and try to think more positive that I will be okay either way.

The race I have created with myself is a race of disappointment and let downs and I feel like I am racing against time and money. This is my chance to change that by doing IVF and knowing that sometimes you cannot control what happens so I need to let it be.

About two hours later I got the green light that I was okay to start simulation shots on the 22nd of April yes one green light a couple of more to go through this process.

On Monday I drop one shot down 5 Units the Lupron and on the 22nd of April I start injecting two medications in one shot and stay on the Lupron the next visit my doctor will have arrived in town and so I will get to meet him and his staff for the first time besides on a book cover and on morning shows that he has appeared on as a guest.

Update on shots I have my ups and downs I think I will through this whole process some days are easier and other days I want to give up but my husband helps me to continue.

Also I would like to say that I have the "Best Husband" ever he took off work and he said in the beginning he will be at every appointment he was the only husband that was in the office the morning of my ultrasound. I am starting to understand that I have never been alone.