Sorry I have not posted since the date but on May 17th Jason and I went in to get my blood drawn we came back to the house sat around and got the news at about 10:30-10:40 A.M from my cute nurse Jennifer that my beta looks very well at 368 so I am positive I did not know what to hear after I cried I went downstairs shaking to let my cute supportive husband know the news he just looked at my and thumbs up cry or thumbs down I motioned back up.
I just started to say thank you never felt so releived in my life I could not concentrate on the other instructions she gave me but that it worked.
I got off the phone and asked Jason who have you told since I saw his fingers typing like mad on text he said well I told the most four important people thats when he probably knew he should have let me at least tell my mom he said well if you call her quick enough she might not read the text so the calling began.
EXCITING DAY!!!
The days to follow I have been trying to grasp everything I heard I am going to be a Mommy and Jason a Daddy. The next day I wanted to be pinched but I started to realize it when I started to gag in the morning that day.
The What if's where setting in the scary what ifs miscarriage am I going to keep going up on my beta hcg cause they do two test protocal on every pregnant patient so I have another one just to make sure my estrogen and progestrone are fine.
I spoke with my embryologist doctor and he called me on Thursday said well I heard the positive news congratulations and this is when he told me he would not worry about a miscarriage because my levels where so high and good that he thought that I should be safe because I asked about the second hcg test because it bothered me a little that next week I have to do it again and what are the chances of it going down he assured me that I have a high hcg so it should be fine he would not guess that a miscarriage would happen. He told me I am 4 weeks and a couple of days along my due date is Jan 23 and that he wants me to call him once I get the results of one or two because he said that hcg levels are so weird but the chances of twins and he wants to know the results.
My IVF doctors follow me until week 6 and than after that I go to my OBGYN crazy well it is all real and we are starting to all hope for healthy baby(ies).
Bring on the pregnancy symptoms a long journey that I have waited for!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Great News tomorrow will be exciting news!
So I thought I would not post anything but I decided this was such a cool and great news that I had to share so this is how my morning started out today after I got ready I decided to hit my knees well not my knees because my stomach feels like I have done 5,000 sit ups.
You get the point I decided that today I needed to be comforted so I said a prayer I asked that Jason and I have comfort and know that this is the correct decision and to help me understand either way the decision tomorrow and help me be comforted and understand my body and to know that everything does not need to be planned out that a solution will present it self... followed by tears during this whole spill I asked grandma Nancy, Papa, and my little brother Corbin to let me know that they are helping me out with this and to know that I want to be a mom.
After saying a prayer I felt like I wanted the comfort right then I know you have to wait all good things come to those who wait so I breathed in and let the tears out.
I went to work thinking this is the longest day of my life well maybe the second longest day of my life. I text my husband and told him to call CFP about the charges that we received and I got great news they over charged us so they gave a credit back. Jason got to talk to a embryologist since we have not heard about the other ones Jason and I came to a decision they did not make it so zero to freeze.
Let me go back to last night Sunday night conversation with Jason:
Me: I need a plan B Jason I need to know if it is negative what are we going to do?
Jason: I am not thinking about another plan this is going to work so we are not even talking about another plan until we have to
Me: Jason you know I need a plan B this is what is stressful what if it does not work or works I want another chance to have kids I need a plan B
Jason: We will discuss it when we have to
Me: I gave up ( shocking I know usually I am very adimit about the answer to my liking)
About 2:00 I get a text saying guess what they over charged us which they are giving us a credit back and that we have two embies that are frozen. It took me awhile I wanted to cry plan B presented it self. I am not sure if most of you know if it does not work this first time and I have not embies to freeze than I would have to pay the same price all over again alot of money. But a frozen cycle is cheaper by alot like only 2000.00 maybe 3000.00. I was so excited that I told everyone that was at work with me downstairs.
If I did not mention in the previous posts my embryologist told me during transfer that we have two that the doctor wants him to follow he has little hope for the second one to make it to day five but hope for the other one.
We heard nothing so thought that we did not have any to freeze. Well my second one caught on and split it was only at two cells and needed to be at eight by day five this is truly amazing. I can see how couples get attached to the embies and want to use them all because when I find out tomorrow that I am pregnant in another year all of you will be back to read this.
The power of prayer thank you little brother Corbin thinking of you durin this month of May knowing that your birthday is May 23rd and hoping I can bring another exciting thing to May for our family we miss you tons and love you lots wish I could have had another brother to bother and pest but don't you worry I will do that someday when we meet again.
Thank You Papa I miss you tons I wish I still was able to run into the bedroom and be the first grand child to give you a hug for that magical dollar. I know you are with me at this time love you tons and miss you like crazy.
Thank You Grandma Nancy the one that taught me how to roll with the punches roll with what life gives you it has taken me time to realize this but I remember when you fought cancer like you are winning the battle of your life. You taught me to smile with a barf bucket and still be picture ready. Love you ton and miss you like crazy as well.
Tons of more people that have passed on that is telling my little ones right now that they will be loved more than they can imagine. I was just thinking I would have a hard time coming to earth if I had to leave such awesome people like them in heaven Corbin has hopefully taught my children strength to fight, Papa has taught my kids that they will be part indian and they can make cool indian noises around the house with pots and pans and how to love deeply, Grandma Nancy has probably told my kids not to worry that the water winnie is fun to ride at the lake and to hold on tight and remember when at Echo lake she will be there with them with her arms around them. Grandpa Lyon I am sure is teaching them how to love from their heart. Grandma Bradbury is hopefully teaching them manners so when they come down they will be very well behaved and also how to love as well.
I am not so worried about the outcome anymore this is out of my hands thanks for answered prayers and maybe not right away maybe just patience pays off.
You get the point I decided that today I needed to be comforted so I said a prayer I asked that Jason and I have comfort and know that this is the correct decision and to help me understand either way the decision tomorrow and help me be comforted and understand my body and to know that everything does not need to be planned out that a solution will present it self... followed by tears during this whole spill I asked grandma Nancy, Papa, and my little brother Corbin to let me know that they are helping me out with this and to know that I want to be a mom.
After saying a prayer I felt like I wanted the comfort right then I know you have to wait all good things come to those who wait so I breathed in and let the tears out.
I went to work thinking this is the longest day of my life well maybe the second longest day of my life. I text my husband and told him to call CFP about the charges that we received and I got great news they over charged us so they gave a credit back. Jason got to talk to a embryologist since we have not heard about the other ones Jason and I came to a decision they did not make it so zero to freeze.
Let me go back to last night Sunday night conversation with Jason:
Me: I need a plan B Jason I need to know if it is negative what are we going to do?
Jason: I am not thinking about another plan this is going to work so we are not even talking about another plan until we have to
Me: Jason you know I need a plan B this is what is stressful what if it does not work or works I want another chance to have kids I need a plan B
Jason: We will discuss it when we have to
Me: I gave up ( shocking I know usually I am very adimit about the answer to my liking)
About 2:00 I get a text saying guess what they over charged us which they are giving us a credit back and that we have two embies that are frozen. It took me awhile I wanted to cry plan B presented it self. I am not sure if most of you know if it does not work this first time and I have not embies to freeze than I would have to pay the same price all over again alot of money. But a frozen cycle is cheaper by alot like only 2000.00 maybe 3000.00. I was so excited that I told everyone that was at work with me downstairs.
If I did not mention in the previous posts my embryologist told me during transfer that we have two that the doctor wants him to follow he has little hope for the second one to make it to day five but hope for the other one.
We heard nothing so thought that we did not have any to freeze. Well my second one caught on and split it was only at two cells and needed to be at eight by day five this is truly amazing. I can see how couples get attached to the embies and want to use them all because when I find out tomorrow that I am pregnant in another year all of you will be back to read this.
The power of prayer thank you little brother Corbin thinking of you durin this month of May knowing that your birthday is May 23rd and hoping I can bring another exciting thing to May for our family we miss you tons and love you lots wish I could have had another brother to bother and pest but don't you worry I will do that someday when we meet again.
Thank You Papa I miss you tons I wish I still was able to run into the bedroom and be the first grand child to give you a hug for that magical dollar. I know you are with me at this time love you tons and miss you like crazy.
Thank You Grandma Nancy the one that taught me how to roll with the punches roll with what life gives you it has taken me time to realize this but I remember when you fought cancer like you are winning the battle of your life. You taught me to smile with a barf bucket and still be picture ready. Love you ton and miss you like crazy as well.
Tons of more people that have passed on that is telling my little ones right now that they will be loved more than they can imagine. I was just thinking I would have a hard time coming to earth if I had to leave such awesome people like them in heaven Corbin has hopefully taught my children strength to fight, Papa has taught my kids that they will be part indian and they can make cool indian noises around the house with pots and pans and how to love deeply, Grandma Nancy has probably told my kids not to worry that the water winnie is fun to ride at the lake and to hold on tight and remember when at Echo lake she will be there with them with her arms around them. Grandpa Lyon I am sure is teaching them how to love from their heart. Grandma Bradbury is hopefully teaching them manners so when they come down they will be very well behaved and also how to love as well.
I am not so worried about the outcome anymore this is out of my hands thanks for answered prayers and maybe not right away maybe just patience pays off.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
2 1/2 days until we find out 2ww almost over
It has been awhile since I posted so I thought that I would post once again before the news comes in. Our two week wait is almost over we are down to 2 1/2 days we find out on Tuesday.
It is funny I have been reading on the computer which I should not be what is the symptoms 9dpt dpt=days past transfer. It is so hard to read your body when you have not gone through the experience quite yet so I do not know what to expect plus the medicine that you are on during in vitro are the same effect as if you are pregnant.
Gagging does happen but the trend I see in this is when I change my estridol patch not sure why it may be more of a surge of estrogen that day. Sore boobs are side effect from progestrone, dry mouth is as well, upset stomach same, tiredness is effects from progestrone.
All I know is that I want to eat spagetthi every night and have since transfer except for two days.
I was kind of sticker shock when I saw the final total of our bill $8250.00 not including medicine or anesthesia and I made a pre pay of some $ before hand so the total bill was about $10,250.00 and the anesthesia was $300.00 and medicine was $2500.00. I think that everyone should write the legislature of Utah and let them know that this needs to be covered under medical insurance and this is not including my lab work which will be about another $200.00 it is worth it but this is all my money into this so I am playing a gamble right now.
Knowing that you invested all of your money into this makes you hope for it to work or what will you do if not? You will have to start all over again everyone tells me not to worry until that time comes and we will figure out a solution but who is to kid it is in the back of your mind when you go through a procedure like this.
I think insurance companies should help families that have infertility issues. They help others have lap band and gastric bypass what is different infertility is emotionally wearing on a woman and man it is draining it should be covered. I know some companies offer it for the employees but the majority of companies do not it is a small amount. I guess the good thing is that we can use this as a deduction during taxes this year so we might not owe for once in our lives and we might be able to get this paid off quicker with a tax refund.
It is a hard road the horrible dreams I have been having miscarriages I wake up and go to the restroom to make sure that one did not happen even thought I am not sure if I am pregnant. I cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking how much I want this to work they are happy and just emotional tears I actually wait till my husband is a sleep because I do not want to stress him out but it is just a way for me to be myself and feel all that I need to during this time.
It is all about your support system not wanting someone to say " I know what you are going through" for someone to say " I am here for you and I am not sure what you are going through but I will help you."
I have a sweet girlfriend Melissa she knew I was having a hard day on Thursday and she took me to get a pedicure the best remedy I could ask for the day she knows how to make my day better. It is family that is there for you during the adventure. It s cute couples like Ashley and Spencer very good friends that will bring us over food for dinner and will listen to me talk even if I repeated myself a ton of times it is the calming affect that Ashley has on me when she listens and speaks.
My younger brother Iszac Lacrosse moms they are amazing they have been there and helped me understand the process of in vitro and they have prayed for my husband and I it is complete strangers right now reading this praying for our sucess in the journey. It is the plato girls in draper saying hi. It is my sisters telling me that they have had dreams about me being pregnant it is the sister that is always there with her sixth sense and she just knows it is our time it is the twin sisters just being supportive and making cute comments on my facebook. It is both mother and father on both sides there for us no matter what. Same with all of the family and friends.
This journey has taught me patience it has taught me that it is not on my time it is on someone elses time it has taught me I cannot compare myself to any other woman out there my body might be different my symptoms might not be text book nothing is in writting and nothing is ever guaranteed it has taught me to have faith in my self and others. It has taught me it is okay to have a dirty house during this time because I have not cleaned for two weeks and lets face it when a "Woman is down the husbands cleaning just is not the same".
It has taught me to open up to let others into my journey it has taught me to learn from others advice or even sometimes disreard others advice that is not so nice it has taught me to be okay with who I am and if this is my only trial through life I am thankful I have thought of the hardest trial kids with terminal illness, cancer patients, and all other illnesses that are out there. I am lucky to just have the issue of infertility because it can be beat with the right attitude and we will have a family soon.
It is funny I have been reading on the computer which I should not be what is the symptoms 9dpt dpt=days past transfer. It is so hard to read your body when you have not gone through the experience quite yet so I do not know what to expect plus the medicine that you are on during in vitro are the same effect as if you are pregnant.
Gagging does happen but the trend I see in this is when I change my estridol patch not sure why it may be more of a surge of estrogen that day. Sore boobs are side effect from progestrone, dry mouth is as well, upset stomach same, tiredness is effects from progestrone.
All I know is that I want to eat spagetthi every night and have since transfer except for two days.
I was kind of sticker shock when I saw the final total of our bill $8250.00 not including medicine or anesthesia and I made a pre pay of some $ before hand so the total bill was about $10,250.00 and the anesthesia was $300.00 and medicine was $2500.00. I think that everyone should write the legislature of Utah and let them know that this needs to be covered under medical insurance and this is not including my lab work which will be about another $200.00 it is worth it but this is all my money into this so I am playing a gamble right now.
Knowing that you invested all of your money into this makes you hope for it to work or what will you do if not? You will have to start all over again everyone tells me not to worry until that time comes and we will figure out a solution but who is to kid it is in the back of your mind when you go through a procedure like this.
I think insurance companies should help families that have infertility issues. They help others have lap band and gastric bypass what is different infertility is emotionally wearing on a woman and man it is draining it should be covered. I know some companies offer it for the employees but the majority of companies do not it is a small amount. I guess the good thing is that we can use this as a deduction during taxes this year so we might not owe for once in our lives and we might be able to get this paid off quicker with a tax refund.
It is a hard road the horrible dreams I have been having miscarriages I wake up and go to the restroom to make sure that one did not happen even thought I am not sure if I am pregnant. I cry myself to sleep sometimes thinking how much I want this to work they are happy and just emotional tears I actually wait till my husband is a sleep because I do not want to stress him out but it is just a way for me to be myself and feel all that I need to during this time.
It is all about your support system not wanting someone to say " I know what you are going through" for someone to say " I am here for you and I am not sure what you are going through but I will help you."
I have a sweet girlfriend Melissa she knew I was having a hard day on Thursday and she took me to get a pedicure the best remedy I could ask for the day she knows how to make my day better. It is family that is there for you during the adventure. It s cute couples like Ashley and Spencer very good friends that will bring us over food for dinner and will listen to me talk even if I repeated myself a ton of times it is the calming affect that Ashley has on me when she listens and speaks.
My younger brother Iszac Lacrosse moms they are amazing they have been there and helped me understand the process of in vitro and they have prayed for my husband and I it is complete strangers right now reading this praying for our sucess in the journey. It is the plato girls in draper saying hi. It is my sisters telling me that they have had dreams about me being pregnant it is the sister that is always there with her sixth sense and she just knows it is our time it is the twin sisters just being supportive and making cute comments on my facebook. It is both mother and father on both sides there for us no matter what. Same with all of the family and friends.
This journey has taught me patience it has taught me that it is not on my time it is on someone elses time it has taught me I cannot compare myself to any other woman out there my body might be different my symptoms might not be text book nothing is in writting and nothing is ever guaranteed it has taught me to have faith in my self and others. It has taught me it is okay to have a dirty house during this time because I have not cleaned for two weeks and lets face it when a "Woman is down the husbands cleaning just is not the same".
It has taught me to open up to let others into my journey it has taught me to learn from others advice or even sometimes disreard others advice that is not so nice it has taught me to be okay with who I am and if this is my only trial through life I am thankful I have thought of the hardest trial kids with terminal illness, cancer patients, and all other illnesses that are out there. I am lucky to just have the issue of infertility because it can be beat with the right attitude and we will have a family soon.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mothers Day
Well day three after transfer and today is the holiday I used to dislike it has a lot of meaning to it this year hopefully my babies are growing or attaching.
I have had a lot of ups and downs lately trying to stay positive but nervous trying to stay unstress makes you stressed at the same time it is a tug a war between emotions. I have hope and still say stick to my belly and grow here is a list of so far who has told my babies to stick or have given the magical touch or vibes:
Iszac my little brother he said stick and put his hand on my tummy and he said two baby boys so he can teach them lacrosse but later he admitted he thinks that if I am pregnant with two it will be a boy and girl
Parker my 21 year old brother actually put his hand on my tummy as well and told them to stick
Mom(Robin and Nancy), and Dad put hands on my belly and said stick
Skylar my cute and may I mention single cousin just returned from a mission just for all the single girls out there is very excited for us and said stick and did a vibe to my belly from the couch.
My moms neighbor Dot also told them to stick babies.
Erin my sister did the same thing she told them to stick and my little niece that is three told me "Happy Mothers Day" and Jason as well she is adorable and I got extra special attention she let me read books to her instead of asking grandma Nancy.
Is the pressure worth it for everyone to know is what I battle the what if's the do not stress but trying not to stress is stress. What should my body feel like, What are the symptoms, Have they attached, Should I be getting sick by now, and the most important question am I pregnant?
These questions just raddle my mind I have to take a breather and know that everybody's body is different I might have implantation spotting I might not I might get sick I might not I might be tired well yes this one is true I am tired but am I tired from the events that have taken place or am I tired from the babies.
Is it okay to cough is it okay to laugh, can I stretch, can I hic up, can I eat this food is, can I sneeze, all of these following things will this contract my uterus?
I have learned that it might but these are natural things so I just need to go with it. Yesterday last night was hard the only stress I have is if it does not work how will I afford to do this treatment again this is so much money for a treatment it is not like I married Bill Gates.
I guess this is all a part of the uncontrol that I have in this situation I am happy that all three of my embryos looked better than text book and this is in my bodies and the lords hands.
For everyone that doesn't have fertility issues this part of being pregnant is easy you have not missed a period yet you do not even know your body is trying to get pregnant. For couples doing in vitro they know that they are doing a procedure and that it should be implanting or is should be attaching or shedding it layer and impedding into your uterus.
But here I am at this stage just keeping my head up and trying to always think positive but be hopeful.
I have had a lot of ups and downs lately trying to stay positive but nervous trying to stay unstress makes you stressed at the same time it is a tug a war between emotions. I have hope and still say stick to my belly and grow here is a list of so far who has told my babies to stick or have given the magical touch or vibes:
Iszac my little brother he said stick and put his hand on my tummy and he said two baby boys so he can teach them lacrosse but later he admitted he thinks that if I am pregnant with two it will be a boy and girl
Parker my 21 year old brother actually put his hand on my tummy as well and told them to stick
Mom(Robin and Nancy), and Dad put hands on my belly and said stick
Skylar my cute and may I mention single cousin just returned from a mission just for all the single girls out there is very excited for us and said stick and did a vibe to my belly from the couch.
My moms neighbor Dot also told them to stick babies.
Erin my sister did the same thing she told them to stick and my little niece that is three told me "Happy Mothers Day" and Jason as well she is adorable and I got extra special attention she let me read books to her instead of asking grandma Nancy.
Is the pressure worth it for everyone to know is what I battle the what if's the do not stress but trying not to stress is stress. What should my body feel like, What are the symptoms, Have they attached, Should I be getting sick by now, and the most important question am I pregnant?
These questions just raddle my mind I have to take a breather and know that everybody's body is different I might have implantation spotting I might not I might get sick I might not I might be tired well yes this one is true I am tired but am I tired from the events that have taken place or am I tired from the babies.
Is it okay to cough is it okay to laugh, can I stretch, can I hic up, can I eat this food is, can I sneeze, all of these following things will this contract my uterus?
I have learned that it might but these are natural things so I just need to go with it. Yesterday last night was hard the only stress I have is if it does not work how will I afford to do this treatment again this is so much money for a treatment it is not like I married Bill Gates.
I guess this is all a part of the uncontrol that I have in this situation I am happy that all three of my embryos looked better than text book and this is in my bodies and the lords hands.
For everyone that doesn't have fertility issues this part of being pregnant is easy you have not missed a period yet you do not even know your body is trying to get pregnant. For couples doing in vitro they know that they are doing a procedure and that it should be implanting or is should be attaching or shedding it layer and impedding into your uterus.
But here I am at this stage just keeping my head up and trying to always think positive but be hopeful.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Our life over the last 24 hours
Implantation date May 5,2011 wow this date has come I want someone to pinch me to know it was true but don't worry I did not need a pinch I had a full bladder that killed because for implantation they give you valium and you have to have a full bladder so they can have a contrast of the uterus when they place them.
My mom, Jason, and I started the journey to provo yesterday about 11:00 A.M I was on my way of drinking a ton of water we arrived at the doctors office valium already in my system and I was ready to go to the bathroom that was.
Everyone asks if I was nervous the only thing I was nervous about was peeing on the doctor because my bladder was so full I could not even stand up all the way because it was painful.
They told me to come on back and to go ahead and use the restroom only if I would promise to do one mississippi and than stop Jason thinks this is crazy that I can do that and stop but I did it helped alittle just a relief of one mississippi.
We all cramed into the room to have the implantation start the doctors and nurse are in the room they bring in the incubator which holds the petry dish and I got prepared in the sturups I breathed in and out they got them ready to implant they did and ultrasound and found the best place to drop them off at they take the instrument out and the embryologist makes sure that they where deposited in my uterus so he looks through the microscope and it was clear they are floating around in my uterus.
How many did we implant we implanted two the reason being is that it gives me a 50% chance to get pregnant the original woman only has a 25% chance of getting pregnant and for me with infertility issues I had a 7% chance without doing invitro of getting pregnant and a 3% chance of triplets and a 20% chance of twins.
If we deposited the third one my chances of triplets would be 10-13% that is high and they are looking out for my health and the goal of delivering a healthy baby I was torn by this decision because obviously if they implanted three my chances go up to 75% of getting pregnant but I was torn as well because the percentage of triplets made me more afraid of what if that happened and it was complications and ended up with none?
I think it is important to trust the doctors and there decision. I layed on the table with my head dropped and legs up for about thirty minutes. My embryologist doctor came in and gave us our first picture of the petry dish it will go into our baby album he explained that he would have put in three if they did not look so good but these look great they are as good as text book they split in cells they way they should in size and they dont have any fragmenation so the quality is awesome if the quality was poor they would have put in all three.
He gave us important instructions such as my husband cleans my house this one I like and my mom needs to make me good food because I am eating for three. So a steak and potatos or whatever I want. The doctor asked me if I was craving ice cream and pickles. If you all know me I love pickles so this will not be hard to crave daily.
Jason and my mom and I drove home I got home and laid in bed all day the valium really kicked in I woke up when I was hungry my poor husband he has cooked spagetthi and soup and he has gone to olive garden for there potato soup which I love and breadsticks I ate yesterday for three for sure and I had ice cream.
I was a little sore not to bad I have been laying down for 24 hours only getting up to go to the restroom and sitting up in bed to eat. Today I have walked around a little more only on my second level I do not dare do stairs unless Jason helps me just because I am afraid to fall.
I ask Jason questions such as is it okay to cough,sneeze, strech, sleep on my side, sleep on my back, is it okay to hic up, and is it okay to laugh I don't want to contract my uterus at all so I am very nervous to do any of the following above. Jason just keeps telling me that I am fine I just need to take it easy.
This morning was a little emotional for me I wanted a egg mcmuffin at mcdonalds and orange juice and Jason went to go get it for me but breakfast was over so he thought that he would buy me a chicken sandwich at wendys he knows I love that meal. He brought it up to me and I cried I wanted the egg mcmuffin he so was calm and explained that they do not serve breakfast past 10 A.M. I told him he should have drove to the one on bangeter they serve it until 11 A.M. He asked me if I would like to eat the fries well no because I want a egg mcmuffin.
I asked him to go get milk and orange juice because that is what I wanted to drink orange juice and I ended up eating a bagel.
I was on high demand this morning and I am now realizing it. Well I am going to go take a nap. But before I take a nap I wanted to share what I make Jason do every night and morning or whenever I feel like it.
I ask Jason to put his hands on my tummy and tell them to stick and secretly I do it as well every night or when I think about will this work I make myself think positive and put my hands on my belly and tell them I love them and to stick and grow!
My mom, Jason, and I started the journey to provo yesterday about 11:00 A.M I was on my way of drinking a ton of water we arrived at the doctors office valium already in my system and I was ready to go to the bathroom that was.
Everyone asks if I was nervous the only thing I was nervous about was peeing on the doctor because my bladder was so full I could not even stand up all the way because it was painful.
They told me to come on back and to go ahead and use the restroom only if I would promise to do one mississippi and than stop Jason thinks this is crazy that I can do that and stop but I did it helped alittle just a relief of one mississippi.
We all cramed into the room to have the implantation start the doctors and nurse are in the room they bring in the incubator which holds the petry dish and I got prepared in the sturups I breathed in and out they got them ready to implant they did and ultrasound and found the best place to drop them off at they take the instrument out and the embryologist makes sure that they where deposited in my uterus so he looks through the microscope and it was clear they are floating around in my uterus.
How many did we implant we implanted two the reason being is that it gives me a 50% chance to get pregnant the original woman only has a 25% chance of getting pregnant and for me with infertility issues I had a 7% chance without doing invitro of getting pregnant and a 3% chance of triplets and a 20% chance of twins.
If we deposited the third one my chances of triplets would be 10-13% that is high and they are looking out for my health and the goal of delivering a healthy baby I was torn by this decision because obviously if they implanted three my chances go up to 75% of getting pregnant but I was torn as well because the percentage of triplets made me more afraid of what if that happened and it was complications and ended up with none?
I think it is important to trust the doctors and there decision. I layed on the table with my head dropped and legs up for about thirty minutes. My embryologist doctor came in and gave us our first picture of the petry dish it will go into our baby album he explained that he would have put in three if they did not look so good but these look great they are as good as text book they split in cells they way they should in size and they dont have any fragmenation so the quality is awesome if the quality was poor they would have put in all three.
He gave us important instructions such as my husband cleans my house this one I like and my mom needs to make me good food because I am eating for three. So a steak and potatos or whatever I want. The doctor asked me if I was craving ice cream and pickles. If you all know me I love pickles so this will not be hard to crave daily.
Jason and my mom and I drove home I got home and laid in bed all day the valium really kicked in I woke up when I was hungry my poor husband he has cooked spagetthi and soup and he has gone to olive garden for there potato soup which I love and breadsticks I ate yesterday for three for sure and I had ice cream.
I was a little sore not to bad I have been laying down for 24 hours only getting up to go to the restroom and sitting up in bed to eat. Today I have walked around a little more only on my second level I do not dare do stairs unless Jason helps me just because I am afraid to fall.
I ask Jason questions such as is it okay to cough,sneeze, strech, sleep on my side, sleep on my back, is it okay to hic up, and is it okay to laugh I don't want to contract my uterus at all so I am very nervous to do any of the following above. Jason just keeps telling me that I am fine I just need to take it easy.
This morning was a little emotional for me I wanted a egg mcmuffin at mcdonalds and orange juice and Jason went to go get it for me but breakfast was over so he thought that he would buy me a chicken sandwich at wendys he knows I love that meal. He brought it up to me and I cried I wanted the egg mcmuffin he so was calm and explained that they do not serve breakfast past 10 A.M. I told him he should have drove to the one on bangeter they serve it until 11 A.M. He asked me if I would like to eat the fries well no because I want a egg mcmuffin.
I asked him to go get milk and orange juice because that is what I wanted to drink orange juice and I ended up eating a bagel.
I was on high demand this morning and I am now realizing it. Well I am going to go take a nap. But before I take a nap I wanted to share what I make Jason do every night and morning or whenever I feel like it.
I ask Jason to put his hands on my tummy and tell them to stick and secretly I do it as well every night or when I think about will this work I make myself think positive and put my hands on my belly and tell them I love them and to stick and grow!
Monday, May 2, 2011
The end of one journey to start a beginning of another one started all today!
Egg retrival day was today Monday May 1,2011. Wow this process has gone by so quick and slow at some times. At one o'clock today I entered the doctors office prepared kind of onrey because no food since 10:39 P.M the night before and nothing to drink either but well worth the procedure.
We arrived at 12:15 in the afternoon ready to get the grapes taken off my ovaries well the eggs I was nervous you never know with this procedure is everything going to work did I produce eggs yes, will they be retrived fine.
I went in the back room operating room. My embryologist came out and asked me how I was doing and how many I had I told him a total of 13 ready from what we saw on Thursday he asked if he was going to be busy I told him I will keep him busy with taking them out and finding all of them I am sure.
I felt very comforted about this procedure today nervous but that is normal I am thinking. My hat is off to the whole staff the anesthesiologist, the doctors, nurses the feel of support was awesome from only staff that I have known by phone and just barely met in person.
I was ready went over all meds came out in a pink gown that to say the least is not modest at all but who cares when you are doing this kind of procedure you better know you are not going to be as modest.
I went to sleep felt very calm I saw a nurse that I have been working with and my doctor come into the operating room it is game time!
I was asleep quick, all I remember is waking up in the recovery bed to my name being called by a comforting nurse she asked me how I felt and if I need any pain medication to be put through my IV I told her I think I am okay I took a drink of Gatorade and my husband came back since I was the last patient of the day.
My invitro doctor and embryologist doctor came into the room these men are amazing. He told me I had eleven retrieved and the average is 8-10 so I did well I told him thank you for all he has done up to now. May I say that they are so knowledgeable I felt so supported and that I made it this far I am proud of myself and my husband.
The week has come I am on the last couple of days... everything is in the lords hands.
The embryologist will be calling me tomorrow and telling me how they are growing I am hoping all goes well we would like to transfer on day five gives you the highest chances but day three could be transfer date if they are ready because you do not want to have them to mature from what I understand.
So sleep tight my little petry dishes mommy and daddy are praying this all works out and so are a lot of other family and friends.
I feel very calm.. this procedure and infertility road has taught me patience some things cannot be rushed... some trials are harder than others.... it has taught me it is okay to go through denial stages it is okay not to be accepting of the circumstance it has showed me that I can either be depressed or I can talk about my trial it has showed me that it is not in my hands or my husbands hands it is all with time and in the Lords hands... It has taught me it is okay to cry by yourself and to others it is okay to let friends and family in will they know what you are going through not exactly but every trial is different but they are the rocks and the hands that will hug you and keep you comforted they are the arms and kisses that will wipe away your tears they are the ears that will listen.
I know I have not listed the facility I am using the reason why is that it was a personal choice all I can say is follow your heart, lean on your spouse, cry happy and sad tears, do your research,soul search, maybe drop to your knees if that is a way for you to find out if it is right, talk to others you would be surprised by how much I have learned and how many strong couples I have met with some kind of infertility challenge and know you are not alone.
I understand it is hard to talk to others about it but it helped me I was nervous, I was scared, I learned to bond with them. I have two amazing girls I work with that had infertility issues and they both got pregnant around the same time these women are amazing and it is not because they actually got pregnant it is because I formed a bond with them even if we do not talk daily we all have a connection.
My mother is the one that is talkative about it as well she has met a lot of people it is a small world and I realized that when I opened up that others have gone through this struggle.
If you are reading this going through infertility I would like to say that I don't know how long years...months....or longer that you have been trying I do not know your circumstance... all I know is that we long for the same thing to be a mom/dad to nurture a child.
We arrived at 12:15 in the afternoon ready to get the grapes taken off my ovaries well the eggs I was nervous you never know with this procedure is everything going to work did I produce eggs yes, will they be retrived fine.
I went in the back room operating room. My embryologist came out and asked me how I was doing and how many I had I told him a total of 13 ready from what we saw on Thursday he asked if he was going to be busy I told him I will keep him busy with taking them out and finding all of them I am sure.
I felt very comforted about this procedure today nervous but that is normal I am thinking. My hat is off to the whole staff the anesthesiologist, the doctors, nurses the feel of support was awesome from only staff that I have known by phone and just barely met in person.
I was ready went over all meds came out in a pink gown that to say the least is not modest at all but who cares when you are doing this kind of procedure you better know you are not going to be as modest.
I went to sleep felt very calm I saw a nurse that I have been working with and my doctor come into the operating room it is game time!
I was asleep quick, all I remember is waking up in the recovery bed to my name being called by a comforting nurse she asked me how I felt and if I need any pain medication to be put through my IV I told her I think I am okay I took a drink of Gatorade and my husband came back since I was the last patient of the day.
My invitro doctor and embryologist doctor came into the room these men are amazing. He told me I had eleven retrieved and the average is 8-10 so I did well I told him thank you for all he has done up to now. May I say that they are so knowledgeable I felt so supported and that I made it this far I am proud of myself and my husband.
The week has come I am on the last couple of days... everything is in the lords hands.
The embryologist will be calling me tomorrow and telling me how they are growing I am hoping all goes well we would like to transfer on day five gives you the highest chances but day three could be transfer date if they are ready because you do not want to have them to mature from what I understand.
So sleep tight my little petry dishes mommy and daddy are praying this all works out and so are a lot of other family and friends.
I feel very calm.. this procedure and infertility road has taught me patience some things cannot be rushed... some trials are harder than others.... it has taught me it is okay to go through denial stages it is okay not to be accepting of the circumstance it has showed me that I can either be depressed or I can talk about my trial it has showed me that it is not in my hands or my husbands hands it is all with time and in the Lords hands... It has taught me it is okay to cry by yourself and to others it is okay to let friends and family in will they know what you are going through not exactly but every trial is different but they are the rocks and the hands that will hug you and keep you comforted they are the arms and kisses that will wipe away your tears they are the ears that will listen.
I know I have not listed the facility I am using the reason why is that it was a personal choice all I can say is follow your heart, lean on your spouse, cry happy and sad tears, do your research,soul search, maybe drop to your knees if that is a way for you to find out if it is right, talk to others you would be surprised by how much I have learned and how many strong couples I have met with some kind of infertility challenge and know you are not alone.
I understand it is hard to talk to others about it but it helped me I was nervous, I was scared, I learned to bond with them. I have two amazing girls I work with that had infertility issues and they both got pregnant around the same time these women are amazing and it is not because they actually got pregnant it is because I formed a bond with them even if we do not talk daily we all have a connection.
My mother is the one that is talkative about it as well she has met a lot of people it is a small world and I realized that when I opened up that others have gone through this struggle.
If you are reading this going through infertility I would like to say that I don't know how long years...months....or longer that you have been trying I do not know your circumstance... all I know is that we long for the same thing to be a mom/dad to nurture a child.
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